(Solo) - My Pride... - Completed

"I stood for my kin, I paid the price to be the savior; It pains me to see others suffer for what I lost. I will show them, this -- Weakness, can be overcome."
It seemed like hours had passed, I have been travelling through the neighboring woods just outside Konohagakure No Sato, my home. I recently lost something precious too me, something I never in a thousand years would have thought it helped me so much in life, not until now; my arm. Imagine, being a shining example of a shinobi amongst even other top-tier shinobi. Sounds great- until you mess up, or when things don't go as planned. I stopped a high-ranking shinobi from slaughtering two cells, but in turn he took my arm. To some this may not come as impactual; but I trained in each field, Physical, Ninjutsu and Genjutsu- Remove an arm and you're reduced to solely Physical Combat. Painful for someone who took so much pride in his accomplishments, to watch it go down the drain- All hope had been lost.

They asked me, "Do you feel anything? Regret, Pain... Hate?" I was so quick to remark. I was honest, in a way. How can I regret my decision? It was to defend my family, blood and non-blood; in addition, I had to ensure the mission was complete, it is our duty. Pain... Is tricky, you see- I physically felt pain, huge amounts but it went away- I do however, pain from the loss; what do you do when everything is taken from you? It's hard to answer, I still seek that answer. As for hate-- One could assume easily that they referred to the man that inflicted such an act upon me. My answer, is no. I do not hate the man, he for whatever cause; felt justified to assault us, we killed his men for their own atrocities- Who's to say he doesn't follow orders too? He acted, I reacted. It was my decision, I've come to terms with that.

The last-- Topic at hand, is a comment, question and insult that seems to have incarcerated me into a pained doubt, my pride felt wounded especially when this started. "You're crippled, how do you expect to perform missions on-par with your peers?" Something I had the life stifled out of me over, until I spoke with an anonymous. Just because I've lost an arm, huge tools from my disposal and some mobility; does not mean I'm useless, or sub-par. It merely has displayed a new obstacle to overcome. And I will. While I walk, alone with my thoughts I too, approach my destination; spiritually and physically. I seek an old, hardly used facility. My family has owned the land and the building for generations- It is where our lineage birthed, where the Hatake began by being effectively, Fire's greatest assassins.


Start at 1:00

"No matter your wound, spirit or political standing Karu-kun, you are -always- welcome. Do not be afraid child."
I stood before opened gates. The wood was raw, old and the building's yard-work was lacking; after all, it was only the Clan Elders that lived here. All of which were quite elderly. No less deadly- Might I add.
But I stood there, stricken at their words. I felt like a wall stopped me from entering, a feeling of unworthiness- contradicting everything they said. I felt weak and beneath even my true kin, who I always felt comfortable near. I know why I'm here, but I struggled... I came here for guidance- seeking secrets and training; who better than those who stood by the First Hokage and fought like gods amongst men? I assured myself- "No one" and stepped through.



"Remember Karu, your network is still intact. You merely are lacking a conduit, a path for it to follow- With enough practice, studying and determination; we all believe you will find a means to regain what you lost- Although your arm may be lost, you are not. Keep to the library and the fields... You will see yourself". I smiled, acknowledged their reassuring words of encouragement and sympathy.

I took to the fields, I needed to compensate physically first. If I could not do, what I did best; I was destined for failure. I drew my bo-staff; with the modified latch to permi t myself to dislocating the locks and releasing the two extendable sides, all with one hand. As the relaxing click echoed through the isolated field; something too clicked in my mind. I knew the blood of a shinobi still flowed through me, I just needed to reawaken it. There I stood; with nothing on any side of me- Lacking any traditional dummies, targets or otherwise. They always told me, to master yourself; you must truly be with yourself. Nothing external, I believe them fully.
Tucking the bo-staff underneath my right arm-pit, the center handle gripped firmly in my bandaged hand; closing my eyes. I let the sound of the winds blow gently against the blades of grass; the chirp of birds from the forest to the East. I stood there, for at least two hours. Breathing, unsure how I might utilize such a large weapon, one I practiced with ever since I was seven; all with a single hand. Only then, did I recall the training the Elders taught each Hatake, I never really assumed it would fit for this weapon- or any weapon. It was assumed by me, that the art was for hand-to-hand, purely- And it likely is.
I launched the bo-staff ahead of myself, arcing it around; I utilized my torso and a bit of motion to build the momentum, sending the metallic staff whizzing in-front of me. Typically you would catch the weapon with your other hand, due to the eight-foot length and raw metallic structure; that is quite hard to do, even with a hand. However, with six-feet of the staff striking in a wide-spread 'slashing' motion, I met it with the cuff between my shin and foot. To my surprise, it lacked any devastating impact due to cushioning from my flesh, or that I was expecting its trajectory. Whipping my foot forwards, it sent the weapon flying again; opposite of the original angle. "Perhaps this will work..." there was a revitalized thump in my slow depressive spirit; I too, felt a presence watching me. Something uplifting. For many hours I continued to practice this-- Unorthodox and unruly stance, technique and motion. By compensating for my loss of an arm; I had to be extraordinarily acrobatic, catching the staff with my ankle, cuff behind my knee, torso, back, neck- All of it. I'm sure I looked like a lunatic; swinging an eight-foot staff around with one arm, flipping, rolling, adjusting into improvised stances and catching it- But I'm sure it had to impress the imaginary audience I had conjured, afterall- -It was working-

The sun set, it was clear I was not going to get back to the village without some trouble. I requested to stay the night, if not a few more to advance what I created, it was strange; I was eager to try out this new form, I was crippled; I knew this. But it challenged me, I grew to like it. They kindly allowed it.

Most of my night consisted of me travelling too and from my quarters and the clan library. For a clan that was never necessarily revered for their vast selection of scrolls and texts, it was remarkably large and informative. Through my relentless efforts- and surprise. I accumulated well over forty-texts, including scrolls that assisted in bringing clarity to the functions and flow of a chakra network- More so than the academy had ever, it was exceptionally detailed- almost too detailed. Listing points of chakra weaknesses, vital points to break networks. Things I would assume a Hyuga would be thrilled to delve their noses into; but this was not my goal, although informative. It did not enlighten me down a path of realization and practice- I mean, it was effectively a fools dream. I had to try.

Then I found it- It was vague, hardly a trail. Heh, comparatively it was a shiny object miles through movement restrictive forest. But it was something.
"Father did always say I was a bit determined- If not stubborn." -- You see, the scroll detailed an individual utilizing one-hand for seals; although they did have both arms. With vague explanations, I felt like I found a trace.
Now I need to rest, I'll speak to one of the Elders, perhaps they have more information- Or they'll merely tell me its a fool's dream. Who knows.

Slot Development:

Four days have passed. I was very confident at the start, I felt like I could do anything. Ultimately, I came to the realization that reality doesn't work so quickly.

Rainy Mood

The day consisted of a great deal of rain, clouds and the smell of worms. I stood out in the center of the Hatake training-field, it looked the same as it always had; with more mud. I found this day particularly relaxing, perhaps it is why I've decided to document it. The sound of the water gunning the ground; the repetition, the sound of consistency in chaos... It felt similar, it reminded me of how I felt, what I was thinking-- It was kind of like a heart-beat to my life. I recall closing my eyes and just listening, although it didn't seem very productive at the time, I truly needed it- As my Elders later told me; it's a revelation. Upon feeling at ease, my heart stopped pounding furiously at the potential thought of never recovering my strength, thinking of how useless I would be- to become a mere pawn to Konoha never to serve anything greater- it was troublesome, but I know I can do this; I just do. Reopening my eyes, I drew my one and only hand in-front of myself, palm facing my face. I stared at it for some time, trying to mentally encapsulate the actuated requirements to perform a technique with a single hand. You see, the problem with the concept is when you utilize two hands you create certain paths, unique; they flow differently, they move at varied velocities and collide and create different elemental conjunctions, when you remove this flow, this varied state it too removes the ability to create, force and manifest different elements, styles and effects. Typically; the world has known a few users that have used single-handed seals, efficiently; in-fact remarkably effectively. Problem is, they don't document it; or if they do, it's lost or locked away. I do intend on changing this, I will make sure I keep a copy with the Hatake and I will present a formal documentation to Konoha. Assuming- That I even complete it.

I suppose I went off track some. When I was standing in the field; beyond the mental and semi-spiritual revelation. I did put some practice in; I've grown considerably confident in my single-arm melee combat; however I still faced the problem of Ninjutsu, Genjutsu and varied other methods are restricted until I can recreate a flow of chakra.
When I refer to the texts, scrolls and what sources I have; be it from the Elder's verbal information or anything I find. It all leads to a similar concept, although vague on its methods. They indicate a way that a being can connect and disconnect their chakra pathways; i.e to recreate false networks, it never ultimately appeared to be detrimental to the user, it was just difficult to actually make work. Being said; I will admit, I was foolish enough to think I could stare at my hand and just imagine it happening. No real changes ever did occur. I was mostly just intensely staring. The Elders, although I'm sure laughed; felt the need to assure me that it is still a step, small or not.

With this embarrassing string of attempts; it readily led me to refacing the books and scrolls. Trying to decipher if there are any vague or even remotely helpful ways to help attribute the ability to create false pathways. I will resume my notes when and if I discover anything

I return, and with some hopeful news. I delved further into the family libraries; I discovered an older, dustier scroll. It's in a weird broken Japanese text; I eventually gave up attempting to decipher it on my own, casting aside my grin and thought that "If I figure this out on my own, I'll be even more revered!" ultimately, this like many other attempts- Were foolish, far to prideful and inevitably pointless and merely slowing me down. I contacted the compound's main-caretaker, when they arrived I showed them what I had found. To my surprise, they knew of the scroll; but informed me they hid it due to their intent to help me determine and find things on my own.
To my benefit, this counted as 'on my own' as I required only myself the desperate and nosy attempts to discover what was hidden. As they explained it, directly from the scroll into more coherent and fluid language is that an individual isn't capable of falsifying chakra networks; it was something that happened over perseverance and the will to continue trying, eventually the body would establish these connections- To my delight, it was explained that though it was something that had to naturally occur; it was often sped up through practice and discipline, and really only took a few weeks to complete. Although I hadn't expected to run outside and try with merely will alone, I knew there was a glimpse of hope. -- A light at the end of a tunnel as they say.

As the days progressed, I felt as if little had really occurred. But one of our family sensors was assuring me that things were going as planned. What I felt awfully unusual in their choice of words, was ultimately 'planned' as if there was some greater forced helping me. Or leading me.
I mean, I never really thought of the Clan Elders as a greater force, they were mentors and without a doubt my superiors in role and strength. But they never felt imposing, baring or strictly guiding me to a destination, it felt languid and at my own pace. It was comfortable, I admittedly was getting complacent after my first two weeks coming here.

Through training sessions of the Elders showing me ways to implement typical seals with a single-hand was an interestingly frustrating exercise. We rely so much on having the second hand to brace and help formulate structure; when you take that away. It's like trying to stilt walk on one stilt, it is plausible- However very difficult. I was getting good at it, my finesse with a single hand was becoming quite superior, after-all through my training at the compound that was paired with missions I've been assigned, I've had lots of practice.
It was also, around this time that I started noticing strange implications from the Elders, more actively insisted- Rather than showing me how to simply seal with one hand; they were trying to encourage me to try and manipulate currently existing elements. Like the rain that never seems to fade, or the fire in the lanterns and braziers, the wind that fluttered in the air; and strangely encouraged me to help refine my lightning, into something less volatile- Problem and concern I faced with this is; for starters, they knew I utilized our trademark White-Lightning and Doton- I've never had much luck with the other elements. I mean, I haven't dismissed the possibility as I've seen some individuals master many elements- But I never figured myself to be one of them.
As time progressed, they do increased their insistence. The sensor especially; were they seeing something I wasn't? At this point in time, I can say yes. However, put myself in the shoes I wore then, I can honestly say I was more oblivious than I would like to admit. The more I attributed formal and structured seals, the more they pushed; earlier mornings I awoke to their urges, later nights that I had been pressed. It was getting exhausting.

Haru came to the compound today; it's the second day of the second month coming here. For those whom come across these records; Haru is the Clan Leader, the one above us all- Rivaling political position of the Elders. At the time, it was unusual; he's often busy and he mentioned to the caretaker he was interested to see my progress. Although family, I'm of the second branch of the family, he's my uncle- Not a Father. Rather than merely watching though, when we were left alone; he started showing me seals- none I've seen before, he coined them as 'modified' seals. With some encouragement he had me start practicing them; "They help manipulate chakra in a single-hand, where you typically do with two. They're not practical for most shinobi due to the unusual forms and motions they carry, but you're not given an option. Use them wisely."

I am now-a-days. Time has progressed rather steadily I had realized why they had been pushing me to learn how to manipulate fire and water. As I started my progression to attributing my single-seals network, too did new networks start to manifest and grow into maturity. They knew, but they did not wish to overwhelm me; which I appreciate even now, so much had been going through my head. More to it would have been overbearing and probably would have caused me to crash. At this point, I've displayed rather ample skill at using the seals. I've even manifested techniques; started my progression in manipulating fire and water. It's something, at this point.
"I would hardly call myself an expert- But I will no longer call myself crippled."